Saturday, September 12, 2009

Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out

I will explain my title shortly, but first I would like to thank everyone for their comments. I had planned on giving up on my blog. I have been at this for almost 25 years, calling and writing congressman and senators, join other organizations. You name it I have done it. Of course like everyone else I am getting older, the pain is getting worse along with other problems, so after the post in February, I said to hell with it.

Then the comments and e-mails started coming from everywhere, so it gave me the courage to start making entries again. I know it will be through tears at times and anger at others, I will try again. For that I have you to thank, so I will continue as long as I can.

As for as the title, Sometimes I feel like pulling my hair out . We have now gone to 78,000,000 million people like you and I, living in CHRONIC PAIN . Are we any closer to getting help? HELL NO. If anything we are further away than ever. We all know the situation with the medical community. Most of them have opiodphobia which in itself is a mental illness.

A couple of months ago my primary care DR. that helps me, looked at me and said, you don't look right. I replied that I didn't know what he was talking about. He said that my eyes had bags under them. I replied that I didn't get much sleep the night before. He then said, have you been drinking? I said drinking, I don't even drink. I reminded him that I told him that I didn't drink on my first visit to him. He said would you be willing to take a drug test. By this time I was getting mad and I said Dr. knock yourself out. Take all the tests you want to any time you want to, because you want find anything with the exception of what is supposed to be there. So he sent me down for the test and sure enough he found nothing. The next visit he apologized. But that is the way I live, from visit to visit and I am sure most of the rest of you do also. I don't know about the rest of you but I am so tired of living like that.

Wouldn't it be nice if we got half the amount of good publicity as the drug dealers do bad. I don't know why the news media has to make everything about us so negative, but they have succeeded scaring most of the Dr's. in the nation to death. If that wasn't bad enough the average person feels the same way. I JUST WONDER IF THE THOUGHT EVER CROSSES THEIR MIND THAT THEY COULD BE THE NEXT PERSON TO BE IN CHRONIC PAIN. Even my own family has made statements about me getting addicted to opioids.
I was talking to my sister a couple of weeks ago and she is a registered nurse. She said what you need to do is get off of those old narcotics and starting some exercise and you will feel better. There was dead silence on the phone for a while. She asked me if I was still there. I know smoke must have been coming from my ears.
I said yes but I cannot believe that you would make a remark that STUPID. I said, how many times have I told you that I can't even get out of the bed most days without taking pain medicine. I cannot believe this country has been brain washed to be so cruel to poor people in unbearable pain but they do.

Well I have to go. I am to angry to write any more.