How can you write a blog about Chronic Pain when you are in so much pain?

I was recently asked this question by my Psychiatrist. "How can you write about chronic pain when you are in so much pain yourself". Honestly, it is getting harder to keep this blog updated. In the beginning it was my hope of getting the attention of the medical profession and the politicians. The most rewarding thing is to get comments and I also receive a lot of e-mail from people in pain. I am an advocate for chronic pain through such wonderful organizations as The American Pain Foundation. Chronic pain is one of the most stigmatized diseases in the world, just like Mental Illness used to be and still is to a degree, but not as bad as in the past.

It is only in the past decade that mental illness and psychiatrists have been getting the credit they deserve. In the past people suffering from any form of mental illness were characterized as "being crazy", "retarded", "messed up in the head, sickos". In 2006 an independent study showed that 11% of women and 5% of men take antidepressants. This situation is far from perfect but thanks to scientists and research, we are finally starting to understand the complexities of the human brain and the central nervous system.

Depression and anxiety problems or panic attacks which is a form of mental illness is a problem that Chronic Pain sufferers have to deal with also, especially if you have lived with chronic pain like me, for years. The Psychiatrist I mentioned above, I believe "with all my heart", was placed in my life by GOD. I have been seeing him for 16 years. I have been in Chronic Pain for 25 years. He has treated me for depression and panic attacks for 16 years. He has watched me go from a person with constant pain levels of 3-4 to constant 10 pain levels. He has also watched me battle with back surgeries that only made the pain worse. He has watched me battle the so-called pain management specialists who only want to do their spinal injections at $2500.00 per shot then send you back to your primary care Dr. for pain medication.

Out of anger at what I have been through and compassion for the way I was having to live he made this statement to me. He said, I really have no desire to get into pain management, but I am going to start treating you for your pain. He knows that the medication he prescribes is not sufficient for my pain level but it helps. That was 5 years ago and he still prescribes all of my medication. Not only is he a good psychiatrist but he is a very knowledgeable Medical Doctor. I have nothing but gratification for him and in my life he is one of about three in the medical profession I can say that about.

Chronic Pain is a disease and finally research is starting to reveal the complexities of it. It will not be in my life time that the "he is only wanting drugs because he is an addict" stigma will be lifted. In the meantime myself and about 60-70 million others will continue to "suffer in silence".

The medical failures that people with a life of pain have to live with

I can't describe the level of frustration I feel when I am stuck with a life of pain, especially when I ask, for example, a nurse about a procedure I had that was approved in late 1983, has left me with a life of agony and they have never heard of it. The reason of course is very simple. They don't teach them about it in nursing schools. Most doctors know, but they want talk about it. Even in my present condition, I am still faceing fusions at L4-L5 and L5-S1 and now I also have nerve root impingement at 3 cervical discs. I can hardly wear a shirt because of the burning sensation in my upper back. My pain level has gone from a 4-5 on a 10 scale, which I had for 20 years, to a constant 9-10 level. My spine surgeon has never even diagnosed my cervical area, even though I had a MRI for it about 8 months ago. While he was looking at my lumbar MRI when I ask about the cervical area, he said he couldn't talk about, I would have to make another appointment for that. Sometimes I really want to just give up. Where in the hell is the compassion!! If I were a Dr. myself (which I am not), there is no way in hell I could let a patient walk out of my office with the levels of pain that I have without helping them. But they do every day across this country to other people just like me. Just go to some of the pain forums.
Their excuse is, I am afraid you will become addicted. "Addicted my ass", I am worried about how to live one more day and this so-called Dr. is worried about me becoming addicted. I have said this before and I will say it again. I know there are good physicians. I have one, my psychiatrist of 15 years and I thank God for him. As for as the rest, at least in my life, I have nothing good to say.